The Hard Truth… The holiday problem, Part II
12th December 2011 · 0 Comments
By Min. J. Kojo Livingston
Contributing payday loans tulsa oklahoma Columnist
“Well you enjoyed it when you were a kid. Your parents did it for you. Why not do the same for your children?”
This is probably the most common response to anyone who dares try to break the cycle and tradition of holiday-related spending, lies and other foolishness. Whether it’s Santa Claus, or Easter egg hunts or fireworks and burnt pork, people actually argue that it should continue simply because it started.
This is the first sign that we are not dealing with reason.
Personally I had asthma as a child, it was good enough for me so…? I nearly ruined my teeth eating chocolate chip cookies as a child, so why should I deny my offspring the pleasure? There were bunches of things (fun or not) I did or experienced then that are not worth transmitting to my children because they are harmful or pointless.
We know that virtually none of the spending that will happen during Christmas or Easter has anything to do with the incarnation or resurrection of the Christ. Most of us actually know that the Creator gets absolutely no glory out of folks ignoring bills to go into debt to exchange material gifts. Most of us know that the Grinch was actually right: You would ruin Christmas if you removed the material gifts. Same goes for Easter and most other big days, but it does not matter because few of us want to pay the price for refusing to follow the herd.
This is what makes change difficult, when reason flies out the window and emotions of fear, pride and guilt. The fear of being rejected or criticized by one’s family is a powerful force in keeping any kind of tradition going. Pride says payday loans jupiter fl don’t let friends or neighbors outspend or out-gift you. Guilt says you owe people something tangible during this time and you are shortchanging them if you only give them your love, or appreciation or an affirmation of what you believe in.
Then three weeks later when you are getting threats from the utility companies you say, “At least my child had a good Christmas,” or “At least I got Auntie Bo something nice.” We all know that a “good” Christmas can ONLY be measured by dollars spent or items accumulated. We all should know that this fact is an insult to the Creator, but that’s not very important, especially during this season, now is it?
Since I have yet to overcome this pattern within my own sphere, I can only offer suggestions based on the few successes I have had and the accounts of others.
The first and most basic thing is to share knowledge. People need to know the true origins of most holidays. At least this gives them the ability to make an informed choice. Provide materials, get videos and encourage loved ones to do their own research.
In your sharing of knowledge you have to be kind, humble and persistent. The angry, arrogant approach rarely does anything more than piss folks off and causes them to entrench in their positions. Why do you think there’s a division between activists and all other Black folks? Now we claim to have a “conscious community” which is separate from the masses because our smart asses have been inept at reaching our people on a large scale. (“But the white man….” Yeah, I’ve heard it before.)
Establishing alternate traditions can help but only if a) the meaning of the alternative holiday is dfm payday loans clearly explained/understood, and b) it something you can distinguish from the traditional day. Many churches have a “harvest fest” on October 31 where the children dress up in costumes and eat candy and hot dogs. Yes, nowadays it’s safer than trick-or-treating, but it’s really only Halloween with a different name.
It’s really important for people who are seeking alternatives to pointless or harmful traditions to unite and do something different together. Remember, we are social creatures and much of what we do is done solely to fit into a group, whether is makes sense or not. Let’s provide ourselves and our children with that group by building it ourselves.
Finally, refusing to participate at all is an option. At some point you may have to decide that any form of participation on your part is not helping. Instead of gently moving people in another direction, your presence may only validate the madness. Depending on your situation, this can carry a pretty hefty social price for everyone involved. Is it worth it? You have to make that call.
There is no easy way to overcome this nation’s holiday madness and that’s by design. For Black folks it’s worse because, like church, it’s all about emotions. These emotions drive us to outspend other ethnic groups, even those who have more wealth than we do…and we wonder why we don’t overcome?
Folks, let’s do the difficult thing. We can use these holidays as an opportunity to buck the system and change the direction of our destiny. The alternative is to keep circling the drain until…
Now, Whatchagonna Do?
This article was originally published in the December 12, 2011 print edition of The Louisiana Weekly newspaper
